Bring me… a shrubbery!
People of the land, I have an announcement to make.
While you may think I have not been a productive member of this society, I now have a great gift to you all.
I have researched a Top-Secret Invention, so secret that it does not appear in the Mad Prince’s records. I have perfected it for the last weeks, and it is now complete.
And so, I present to you… [Insert dramatic music here] THE CANDY MACHINE! [Orchestral Hit]
As I can’t eat all that candy, I am willing to give some to other commoners. My machine can produce candy of one of seven colors, one for each color of the rainbow. For those of you who have never looked at the sky (probably because you were so busy inventing useless inventions instead), those colors are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Pollen and Sharp. *Eye twitches*
Pick a color, then, and append a comment containing the following sentences, adapted to your specific brand of madness:
“I, [insert your name here, however nice it is], wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled [insert whatever mythical animal of your (un)liking here].
May he, in his infinite [insert characteristic here], be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably [insert desired color here]), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.”
If you are foolish enough to post several comments following that template, only the last one will count in my infernal tally. Also, if several commoners share the same, evil vice and thus crave the same cure in the form of Candy of the same color same, only the second one will get the Candy. (Yes, I’m that good.)
Now, if you allow me, I must pack my things and prepare myself for the wondrous voyage I am about to undertake. May you try not to lose sentience on your endless quest for less-than-perfect glory. Be aware that I am to leave on the 25th on the current month, at an undisclosed time. If some Candy is still unclaimed, I shall give it out randomly to Commoners who, in their greater wisdom, have expressed their interest in other flavors of mine. If no Candy is claimed before I go… Well, too bad for you, I’ll eat it ALL!!!!!!!!111111oneoneone *gasps for air*
Oh. One last thing. I’m not mad, far from it. Ok, not that far, but still.
Let’s just say I’m just mad enough to act on the present announcement in any way I see fit, including ways that are unforseen by the current wording. But then again, I probably won’t.
Or will I?
~ Roujo, Grandmaster of Candy Mts, Practicioner of the seventy-fourth circle of the Zeroth Art.
shouldn’t should won’t probably won’t.