Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bring me… a shrubbery!

People of the land, I have an announcement to make.

While you may think I have not been a productive member of this society, I now have a great gift to you all.

I have researched a Top-Secret Invention, so secret that it does not appear in the Mad Prince’s records. I have perfected it for the last weeks, and it is now complete.

And so, I present to you… [Insert dramatic music here] THE CANDY MACHINE! [Orchestral Hit]

As I can’t eat all that candy, I am willing to give some to other commoners. My machine can produce candy of one of seven colors, one for each color of the rainbow. For those of you who have never looked at the sky (probably because you were so busy inventing useless inventions instead), those colors are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Pollen and Sharp. *Eye twitches*

Pick a color, then, and append a comment containing the following sentences, adapted to your specific brand of madness:

“I, [insert your name here, however nice it is], wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled [insert whatever mythical animal of your (un)liking here].
May he, in his infinite [insert characteristic here], be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably [insert desired color here]), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.”

If you are foolish enough to post several comments following that template, only the last one will count in my infernal tally. Also, if several commoners share the same, evil vice and thus crave the same cure in the form of Candy of the same color same, only the second one will get the Candy. (Yes, I’m that good.)

Now, if you allow me, I must pack my things and prepare myself for the wondrous voyage I am about to undertake. May you try not to lose sentience on your endless quest for less-than-perfect glory. Be aware that I am to leave on the 25th on the current month, at an undisclosed time. If some Candy is still unclaimed, I shall give it out randomly to Commoners who, in their greater wisdom, have expressed their interest in other flavors of mine. If no Candy is claimed before I go… Well, too bad for you, I’ll eat it ALL!!!!!!!!111111oneoneone *gasps for air*

Oh. One last thing. I’m not mad, far from it. Ok, not that far, but still.

Let’s just say I’m just mad enough to act on the present announcement in any way I see fit, including ways that are unforseen by the current wording. But then again, I probably won’t.

Or will I?

~ Roujo, Grandmaster of Candy Mts, Practicioner of the seventy-fourth circle of the Zeroth Art.

P.S: I shouldn’t should won’t probably won’t.

Comments

Greytyphoon:

03-23-2010 20:57:13 UTC

I, Greytyphoon the lonely, prince of the infinite sand land, baron of all hourglasses, voyager of time , wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled Ceiling Cat.
May he, in his infinite open-mind madness, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably Red), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.

I would also like to greet Ienpw_III, whom a physician who shared my name has let die in lands far from here. May his regrets be brought to you by the wind.

Also, arrow

Klisz:

03-23-2010 20:57:44 UTC

...?

Keba:

03-23-2010 21:02:08 UTC

Have you “forgotten” an “So I request to be idled on 25.3., the above text is just for the flavour?”

Klisz:

03-23-2010 21:02:11 UTC

Posted at the same time as Greytyphoon. What exactly does this “candy” represent in the gamestate?

Klisz:

03-23-2010 21:02:43 UTC

Posted at the same time as Keba.

Klisz:

03-23-2010 21:04:10 UTC

Hey, who’s been deleting comments!? There were five earlier and now only two!

Klisz:

03-23-2010 21:08:28 UTC

...never mind.

ais523:

03-23-2010 21:20:36 UTC

I, ais523, wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled mechanical duck, which I asked for so many pieces of flavour text ago.
May he, in his infinite surprisingness, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably blue), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.
Because, you know, blog posts aren’t dynastic rules, and I have no idea what’s going on, but it sounds like non-subvertive science, and that’s good, right?

Josh:

03-23-2010 21:30:18 UTC

I, Josh the Deranged, wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled beard papa.
May he, in his infinite chilliness, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably Pollen), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.

Put:

03-23-2010 21:44:31 UTC

I, Sir Put of Hampshire, wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled pick of destiny.
May he, in his infinite Roujo..ness?, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably sharp), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar

Klisz:

03-23-2010 22:54:36 UTC

I, Darth Cliche, Lord of North America, Baron of South America, Count of Eurasia, Marquis of Africa, Duke of Oceania, King of Antarctica, and Emperor of Earth, wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled gnorc.
May he, in his infinite insignificance, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably Orange), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.

Purplebeard:

03-24-2010 08:49:22 UTC

I, Purplebeard the purple-bearded, wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled antarctican cheese dog.
May he, in his infinite greed, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably yellow), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.

Kevan:

03-24-2010 09:44:07 UTC

I, Kevan of Devizes, wish to bid Roujo a fair voyage on his quest to find the fabled Yale.
May he, in his infinite capriciousness, be awesome enough to give me some Candy of his delightful making (preferably green), so that I too can partake in his mad quest for eternal blood sugar.

Roujo:

03-24-2010 11:07:39 UTC

Good, good… All the candy has been spoken for… But will there be more who will want to get some, too? Who knows…

Do I?

Roujo:

03-25-2010 23:01:06 UTC

Apparently not =P