I quote the SCOUNDREL of a Soldier ‘Darth Cliche’, and do not wish this to be seen as my opinion, as it is CLEARLY MISINFORMED:
“Does the Enemy even”
.... I kid you not, he said this…
“Exist?”

I do not know what has led this poor Soldier to make such a foolish inquiry. Perhaps their mind has been addled with illegal drugs imported from the Hostile Nations to the East, West, North and South. Perhaps they are following instructions from the free-marketeering socio-faschist barbarians who oppose our superior ideals NIGHT AND DAY; I have sent the appropriate paperwork to start an investigation into the matter of insubordination within the ranks.

I may be a lowly Private, but I know of the value of Trust. Would our General tell us of a fearsome (yet flawed and defeatable) Enemy that did not exist? No, because High Command would not allow lies within the ranks, even coming from our great and glorious leader. Would our General prepare us for a war that cannot be fought? No! It would be waste of precious resources that could be used to improve our great and prosperous nation!  Would our General betray our trust? No, because he is a greater man than any of us. I barely dare contemplate it, but would High Command be wrong? NO. We receive detailed reports of enemy movement every hour, my reliable sources from the Ministry tell me.

I request Darth Cliche should be punished. I leave his fate in the hands of better men.

With regards,
Pvt. Devenger Carraz-Akavar.