Attention all Institute staff. The Lunchbox was picked up by a freelance recovery team this afternoon and is now on site, under containment. The documented safety protocol of this highly destabilising object is that “If a Researcher has the means to destroy this Artefact then they must do so within 24 hours of having gained the capability to do so.” If any Researcher feels that they meet this criteria at present, or meets it any time in the near future, please proceed at once to the Containment Facility and initiate disposal procedures.