Sunday, March 08, 2009

Story Post: [Skirmish] No, John, you are the demons.

Creatures from bad fanfics are attacking.

Run away.

UPDATE: Enemy Combatants now correctly identified as per Rule 2.1.4. Nonetheless, kill that dress sense. - Propaganda Officer Devenger

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage)

Comments

Rodlen:

03-08-2009 00:58:40 UTC

Lock and load

Rodlen:

03-08-2009 01:01:22 UTC

I blast John Freeman with a SMG.  It just barely passes his BACKFLIP armor.

I killed John Freeman, and made him a pile of hands.

Current:

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage)

Clucky:

03-08-2009 03:01:05 UTC

Lock and load.

Clucky:

03-08-2009 03:03:05 UTC

I blast Cernel Joson with my MP5SMG. He drops! I choose not to take another attack.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Devenger:

03-08-2009 11:20:04 UTC

Lock and load, though the theme shift is somewhat disturbing.

Devenger:

03-08-2009 11:25:44 UTC

I miss a Pair of Dead Pants with my M4 Carbine, and I take 1 damage. List unaffected:

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Kevan:

03-08-2009 14:30:59 UTC

Lock and load.

Kevan:

03-08-2009 14:33:11 UTC

I fire at a zombie for two damage with my M249, and it bites me back for the same amount.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (3 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Klisz:

03-08-2009 16:26:20 UTC

Lock and load. Rodlen is obsessed with bad Half-Life fanfics recently…

Klisz:

03-08-2009 16:31:08 UTC

I attack the wounded zombie ghost for 1 damage. It attacks me for 2 damage.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (2 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Rodlen:

03-08-2009 17:42:29 UTC

Be happy I didn’t go with my “kill them all with God” idea.

ais523:

03-08-2009 23:20:03 UTC

Lock and load.

ais523:

03-09-2009 08:41:04 UTC

I kill the wounded Zombie Goast. No more shots for me this round though (I’m running low on ammo).

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Kevan:

03-09-2009 14:17:47 UTC

I kill two Zombie Goasts with my trusty M249, and wound a third.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (3 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 3 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Clucky:

03-09-2009 17:45:17 UTC

I kill the wounded Ghost and miss a pair of pants.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Rodlen:

03-09-2009 18:33:26 UTC

I shoot Stalvern, wounding him.

He palsmas me.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (4 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Klisz:

03-09-2009 21:54:44 UTC

The name “pairs of dead pants” implies that they are all already dead, therefore with a little interpretation:

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (4 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)

* 8 Pairs of Pants (0 health, 1 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Kevan:

03-09-2009 22:10:45 UTC

I thought that, but we explicitly say that “An Enemy Combatant is dead if its Health is 0 or below.” and “A keyword defined by a rule supersedes the normal English usage of the word.”

Wakukee:

03-09-2009 22:44:00 UTC

Lock and load.

Wakukee:

03-09-2009 22:47:04 UTC

I’ll get Stalvern…  3 damage.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (3 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Clucky:

03-10-2009 17:17:03 UTC

The battfield has now been mined.

Clucky:

03-10-2009 17:22:25 UTC

I killed Stalvern and both goasts and wound som pants

* 1 Pairs of Dead Pants (2 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 7 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (3 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD_
* 6 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Devenger:

03-10-2009 20:54:44 UTC

It is clear, comrades, that Ammo Clerk Rodlen has undergone a serious drugging by the Enemy. Their hallucinogens have, in this case, made the Scout announce the identity of confused armed scientists covered in blood from autopsy rooms as, erm, ‘zombies’.

This has been rectified. Thankfully, they were working for the Enemy anyway. Kill the remaining traitors!

——

NEW STATUS:

* 1 Oddly dressed scientist (2 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 7 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

(I fixed odd things in listings too.)

——

Rodlen can no longer participate in this Skirmish - drugs take a while to get out of the system.

-Propanganda Officer Devenger ( http://blognomic.com/wiki/index.php?title=Ruleset#Hallucinations )

Wakukee:

03-10-2009 21:03:09 UTC

See, thats why I don’t really like that rule… eh. I guess our freedom couldn’t last forever. I guess Qwazukee isn’t my “Big Brother” after all… Devenger is.


</em>‘gasp!’ Disloyalty to Devenger? He’s crazy!’</em>

Just messing with you Dev.

Devenger:

03-10-2009 21:15:56 UTC

I hit the injured oddly dressed scientist with my M4 for 1 damage, and then get hit for 2. Erk.

* 1 Oddly dressed scientist (1 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 7 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Klisz:

03-11-2009 04:38:34 UTC

I kill off the injured scientist and get hit for 1.

* 6 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Klisz:

03-11-2009 04:40:27 UTC

Hold on… more accurately…

* 6 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Oddly dressed scientist (0 health, 1 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Klisz:

07-30-2009 20:07:50 UTC

Secret DDA Meeting Begin!