BlogNomic: The First Dynasty of Desertfrog

Lock and load

I blast John Freeman with a SMG.  It just barely passes his BACKFLIP armor.

I killed John Freeman, and made him a pile of hands.

Current:

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage)

Lock and load.

I blast Cernel Joson with my MP5SMG. He drops! I choose not to take another attack.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Lock and load, though the theme shift is somewhat disturbing.

I miss a Pair of Dead Pants with my M4 Carbine, and I take 1 damage. List unaffected:

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 5 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Lock and load.

I fire at a zombie for two damage with my M249, and it bites me back for the same amount.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (3 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Lock and load. Rodlen is obsessed with bad Half-Life fanfics recently…

I attack the wounded zombie ghost for 1 damage. It attacks me for 2 damage.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (2 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Be happy I didn’t go with my “kill them all with God” idea.

Lock and load.

I kill the wounded Zombie Goast. No more shots for me this round though (I’m running low on ammo).

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

I kill two Zombie Goasts with my trusty M249, and wound a third.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 1 Zombie Goast (3 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 3 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

I kill the wounded Ghost and miss a pair of pants.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

I shoot Stalvern, wounding him.

He palsmas me.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (4 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

The name “pairs of dead pants” implies that they are all already dead, therefore with a little interpretation:

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (4 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)

* 8 Pairs of Pants (0 health, 1 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

I thought that, but we explicitly say that “An Enemy Combatant is dead if its Health is 0 or below.” and “A keyword defined by a rule supersedes the normal English usage of the word.”

Lock and load.

I’ll get Stalvern…  3 damage.

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (3 health, 2 armor, 2 damage)
* 2 Zombie Goasts (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage)
* 8 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 4 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

The battfield has now been mined.

I killed Stalvern and both goasts and wound som pants

* 1 Pairs of Dead Pants (2 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 7 Pairs of Dead Pants (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Zombie John Stalvern (3 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD_
* 6 Zombie Goasts (0 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 John Freemans (0 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 0 Cernel Joson (0 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

It is clear, comrades, that Ammo Clerk Rodlen has undergone a serious drugging by the Enemy. Their hallucinogens have, in this case, made the Scout announce the identity of confused armed scientists covered in blood from autopsy rooms as, erm, ‘zombies’.

This has been rectified. Thankfully, they were working for the Enemy anyway. Kill the remaining traitors!

——

NEW STATUS:

* 1 Oddly dressed scientist (2 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 7 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

(I fixed odd things in listings too.)

——

Rodlen can no longer participate in this Skirmish - drugs take a while to get out of the system.

-Propanganda Officer Devenger ( http://blognomic.com/wiki/index.php?title=Ruleset#Hallucinations )

See, thats why I don’t really like that rule… eh. I guess our freedom couldn’t last forever. I guess Qwazukee isn’t my “Big Brother” after all… Devenger is.

</em>‘gasp!’ Disloyalty to Devenger? He’s crazy!’</em>

Just messing with you Dev.

I hit the injured oddly dressed scientist with my M4 for 1 damage, and then get hit for 2. Erk.

* 1 Oddly dressed scientist (1 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)
* 7 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

I kill off the injured scientist and get hit for 1.

* 6 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Hold on… more accurately…

* 6 Oddly dressed scientists (4 health, 1 armor, 2 damage)

* 1 Oddly dressed scientist (0 health, 1 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Confused ‘Space Marine’ cosplayer (5 health, 2 armor, 2 damage) (DEAD)
* 5 Surgical assistants (5 health, 0 armor, 3 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Misidentified artist (1 health, 5 armor, 5 damage) (DEAD)
* 1 Kid in Army uniform (2 health, 0 armor, 1 damage) (DEAD)

Secret DDA Meeting Begin!