- What do you mean, all the cameras broke?
- It happened overnight when they ran automatic updates. I didn’t even know the software on those things was so complicated… Anyway, I managed to get the camera in the kitchen working, so we should be able to broadcast some footage today, at least.
- Ah, great, let’s see what we got…
[Inappropriately fluorescent title sequence.]
- Welcome back to Reality TV! Let’s cut live to the house, where the contestants are getting ready for their lunch. Hmm… it’s normally Bucky who cooks, but he doesn’t seem to be in the kitchen right now; maybe this is a first sign of a culinary rebellion in the ranks? Who do we have here? Ah, Wakukee’s working on the taps again, presumably that’s why Bucky isn’t here. At least they seem to be putting out water now; that’s probably an improvement over yesterday. Firefaux is in here for the first time; it seems that he’s finally decided to look at what’s in the fridge. (I wonder what he was eating earlier?) Quazie’s just shuttling through, looking bored as always; don’t worry, viewers, I’m sure we can spice all this up later. Psycotipath looks impatient; maybe there wasn’t anyone cooking after all. And I don’t have a clue what Darth Cliche’s saying (note to self: force contestants to talk in English). TAE is trying to make himself useful… ouch… I think you’d probably better leave the turning of nuts and bolts to Wakukee, at least he has a spanner. As for Oze and delta, I don’t have a clue what they’re doing; this could bear watching later. See you again next week, everyone!
Keep the diary entries coming, everyone; else how would I know what everyone’s up to? For some reason, nobody passes the camera feed to me, so I have to guess what’s going on based on what you said in the diary rooms…