BlogNomic: The First Dynasty of Desertfrog

Title: Rubble Trouble

Script: Hero surveys the scene, he sees a rumbling among the wreckage, a cockroach scutters from the scene; noises of people struggling are heard from beneath brick rubble, and then nothing. Two lives snuffed. A squirrel pokes inquisitively from beneath a broken
kitchen appliance, approaches the Hero tentatively sniffing his boots.

Body Count: 2

Total: 2

Title: Tank!

Hero rises slowly as tank approaches in the distance. Hero finds grenade at his feet, tosses it at tank. Tank driver (Donald Foley) shouts “No!” as tank explodes. All 3 passengers die. Cockroach continues to sniff, unconcerned.

Body Count: 4

Total: 6

Title: Jaws…er…Teeth

Hero looks at nearby pool.  In it, a Mechano-Shark kills it’s first victim, like in Jaws, with Susan Backlinie as the victim.

Body Count: 1

Total: 7

Title: A Load Off

Our illustrious hero Stewart notices a camper parked nearby. The owner, a rugged man named Bo (Dennis Quaid) invites ‘Stew’ in for bacon and eggs. Waving away security concerns, Bo says the RV auto defenses are the best… and indeed it kills eleven fleeing refugees during the meal.

Body Count: 11

Total: 18

I’m confused, how do you get 11 from DICE5 ?

The awards from a stunt-cast actor, I would assume.

Title: The Ruins of Tokyo 5

Bo pulls the camper into a ruined city, which he identifies as Old New Neo Tokyo Omega Five. The Hero looks out of the window. On the street outside, a lady (Marianne Muellerleile) succumbs to plague. Her child cries briefly, before dying from the plague as well. The Hero chokes back a tear.

Body count: 2
Total: 20

Title: The Home Stretch

Script: The dashboard radio glows and crackles, and a voice (Mary Deese) tells Bo that he hasn’t got much time. Bo tells the Hero to buckle up. Accelerating, the camper van thumps four unseen pedestrians to the ground.

Body Count: 4

Total: 24

Wow, Jeid got a pretty good roll.

Should my scene have included 4 deaths? I figured, since I rolled 3, I should just kill 3 people and the extra (for Donald Foley) was just added after the fact.

Alternatively, perhaps there is a hidden death somewhere in my scene.

I assumed that the driver was not counted amongst the passengers.

Title: People Die

Script: Camper van crashes after hitting Ella Mitchell. Driver dies, but hero survives. Hero tortures 5 ninjas who appear out of nowhere and attack him, using the Kirby-Taunt Japanese Torture Device.

Body Count: 5

Prop: Kirby-Taunt Japanese Torture Device

I didn’t include the total body count, so that didn’t count. Oops.

Title: People Die

Script: Camper van crashes after hitting Ella Mitchell. Driver dies, but hero survives. Hero tortures 5 ninjas who appear out of nowhere and attack him, using the Kirby-Taunt Japanese Torture Device, and then kills them.

Body Count: 5

Total Body Count: 29

Prop: Kirby-Taunt Japanese Torture Device

Title: What’s This?

Script: Hero exits van, van explodes. Uninjured Hero rummages through remains of van, acquires and equips Gold Rimmed Monocle with Chain. Glare blinds two ninjas. They fall on van which bursts into more flames, giving away two other ninjas. Hero eviscerates one bare-handedly and defenestrates other through van window.

Body Count: 4

Total Body Count: 33

Prop: Gold-Rimmed Monocle with Chain

Title: Tourists

Script: Hero sees a crowd of people approach and begins to sprint towards them, carrying An Imported Rusty Scimitar.  After dicing them to bits, he realizes they were in fact ten Canadian tourists and their tour guide (Thomas Gibson).

Body Count: 11

Total Body Count: 44

Prop: An Imported Rusty Scimitar

CONTINUITY! 

Gnauga’s scene contradicts mine, because the hero already was out of the van (it was heavily implied, since he killed ninjas.)

But killing ninjas from inside the van is awesomer.

He managed to kill ninjas from within a crashed van. Yes, that makes perfect sense.

He is an action hero.

Use of the kirby taunt to torture 5 ninjas from inside a crashed vehicle. That’s pushing the bounds of reality a bit far, don’t you think?

I happen to disagree with Darth Cliche he did not expressly say the hero left the Camper Van. I remember a whole fight sequence in a trailer with samurai women in Kill Bill vol2, and everybody knows samurai need more room than ninjas. (That scene’s body count? 2)

The Producer disagrees with the continuity contradiction claim. A bit of imagination will tell you that the ninjas would be best tortured inside the van, however crashed it is. We could say, for example, that the van was required as a power supply for the Nintendo GameCube involved in the Torture Device. (This could be an AWESOME van.) Having tortured and killed the ninjas, the hero goes to leave the van, and then it explodes… he then realises he forgot something, and rummages in the debris.

Keep the scenes rolling, guys. And stop putting us into Development Hell when there’s still a perfectly reasonab… ridiculous way of explaining away the problems.

Actually, Darth’s scene has a Body Count of 5, but describes the killing of 6 people. What should be done about that?

Scripters are merely “encouraged” to write a script that reflects the number they rolled, by Rule 2.2. We can write anything we like.

Of course, it only increases the likelihood of them being voted worst scene EVAR.

Title: Fallout 4?

Scene: The Hero walks along a never-ending wastland. In a cool montage he goes through a series of adventures: Leaving a Vault (twice), then befriending Sulik, returning the GECK to Arroyo, talking his way into the Enclave, acquiring a car, and killing the
Master. Note to edition team: Genericise names ASAP.

Body Count: 1 (Strangely enough)

Total: 7

(Link to roll confirmation for body count: http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/1994552/)

((Also: What is up with the List of Famous American Actors?)

You can roll dice in the GNDT, you know.

A famous actor can be added to the scene to add more Bodies; check the Current Ruleset for the downlow, Altharis.

What martian timezone are you living in Altharis? Total Body Count is at least in the double digits last time I checked…

Yeah, woah.

Total Body Count actually = 40.

We should probably have something in the ruleset requiring die rolls to be made in the GNDT.

Title: The Unknown
Scene: The hero, running through the wasteland, encounters a steel grate in the floor. As he bends to open it he is set upon by 5 masked assailants. He kills four using martial arts, and the fifth by using him as a lever to operate its locking mechanism.

Body Count: 5
Total Body Count: 45

[Qwazukee] We do: “If a Scripter has not yet created a Scene for an Act that is not Finished, he or she may do so as a daily action, by rolling DICE5 in the GNDT” (also Glossary 3.4).

This means that Altharis’s Scene is illegal.

Title: Return to Shadow
Script: The last ninja stands before a semi circle of beings in large dark cloaks. One draws a gun to shoot him for his failure. Before the bullet flies the ninja throws a pair of shuriken killing two of the cloaked beings. The ninja is then shot and dies.

Body count: 3
Totla count 48

umm was the body count not 44? (before ais523’s scene)

so it was total body count actually

52

Is the Glossary legally binding now? This always confuses me, because it wasn’t when I joined.

Yeah, I didn’t realize that when the scene was cut, it didn’t reduce the total body count, just the Scripter’s body count.

I am unsure what “wasteland”  ais523 describes, what with the non-existent Altharis scene.

This Act opened with “Hero regains consciousness, to find himself lying in a wrecked wasteland.”

The Glossary has always been legally binding. I can’t imagine there was a time when there was no legally-binding definition of “quorum” or “gamestate”.

So, the original wasteland, then. I knew I was missing something, which is why I didn’t challenge it.

It’s the “only effect can be to clarify ambiguity” part. I think our current glossary somewhat stretches “clarify ambiguity,” in that the flavor text portion would otherwise be unambiguously part of a proposal. Also, I wouldn’t exactly describe the “Fair Play” rules as clarifying ambiguity, as they are mentioned nowhere else, and thus would have a hard time being ambiguous.

That’s enough. - The Producer