Sounds far less complicated and easier and less finicky

That middle sentence doesn’t do anything, and is misleading; if somebody declares a conditional transfer, there’s nothing that actually checks that condition, it’s just down to the FOR votes.

Which is fine - we just don’t need that sentence.

well, it’s saying you can offer a trade, rather than a transfer.  If it’s condition, one of the effects would be the conditions…so, if everyone votes FOR that is involved, then the condition happens.

I think a cleaner execution would have the story post simply describe which Einherjar are transferred from which Valkyries to which Valkyries.  And then it all resolves simultaneously once all involved Valkyries vote FOR.  Optionally, resolution can be additionally dependent upon some other conditions to be specified in the post.

that was the idea

I can’t get past the wording.  Kevan is right, the “conditional” sentence is misleading and doesn’t do anything, and even if it did, then “conditional on another transfer being made” implies that _another_ story post must be made to satisfy the condition.

Look at the proposed rule carefully, and consider what must happen for an Einherjar to be transferred from Valkyrie A to anyone else.  This can only happen as a result of a story post made by Valkyrie A (I’m not buying that conditions are effects—that’s not what conditional means).  Which means that it takes several story posts to effect a complicated trade.

I mean, you call the Rule “trading”, so why is all the ruletext described in terms of one-way transfers which are possibly _conditional_ on other one-way transfers?

well, if oyu wanna reword it’, I’ll s/k and re-propose, i’ve got the slot.

I’m a bit uncomfortable with “all effects of a transfer” in the final sentence, if anybody’s rewording it - it feels like you might be able to get away with a post of “I give Richard III to Bucky and he wins the game”.

S/K for the reason Kevan just put up…wow…that could have been bad.  Someone reword, I suck at that part.

Here’s my suggestion:

http://blognomic.com/wiki/index.php?title=User_talk:Hix