Initial Public Offering
JOSHTECK IS HERE.
For too long, you have laboured, only to turn nover your hard-earned scavengings to speculators, chancers and monopolists. No more.
Now you may take your own destiny by the hand, and with it, turn to face the bright new dawn of co-operation and industry. ALL OF YOUR TOMORROWS ARE YOURS AGAIN.
Terms of initial offering
Co-operative member
The first five Commoners to express an interest will be invited to participate in the Co-operative Membership scheme. A co-operative member gets the benefits of unlimited access to my transmutation skills at no additional cost; THAT’S RIGHT, 1 coal and 1 resource will net you 1 resource of your choice. No other retailer can best that. Of course, there are some upkeep charges, but these are limited - just 5 Coal or 1 Resource of your choice per week, to be paid to me on or before each Monday, will secure your access to this unbeatable offer.Membership expansion
We’re always looking tokick out our non-paying delinquentsgrow our family, so if you miss out on this initial offering, then don’t lose heart! You never know when we might expand our membership options, so keep your eyes peeled!Valued customer
Sadly, not everyone can be a member of our big happy industrial family. But everyone can get great prices with Joshteck! As a Customer of Joshteck, your first three transactions of the week will be charged at our standard rate - 2 Coal and 3 Resource for 1 resource in return. Thereafter, however, the Joshteck Favoured Customer Bonus kicks in, and you will be able to transmute lead to gold - or iron to cog, if you so wish -for the low, low price of 1 Coal and 2 Resource!
Joshteck. Serving you, today, tomorrow… forever.
Kevan: he/him
I hereby formally express an interest in this exciting and generous venture.