Add a new dynastic rule called “Lady Luck” with the following text:

As a weekly action, the Dread Pirate may make a comment in the GNDT “DICE2 DICEX DICE100”, where X is the number of different pets.  With the result of the comment, the Dread Pirate will add to all Captains that has role Pirate (if the result of the first DICE is 1) or Ninja (if the result of the first DICE is 2), and has a Pet that is the xth in the list of pets in the rule “Pet”, where x is the result of the second DICE, n Gold where n is the result of the third DICE.

Making this into a limerick is hard!