Thursday, July 05, 2007

Story Post: Lawsuit: Aggrivated Stress and Coercion

I am hereby serving notice of my intention to sue Zephyr of Ink Inc. for Multiplier: $10M.

Earlier today, he couched an ordinary request for his GNDT password in the terms of a lawsuit, causing me aggravated distress, dismay and agitation. As a result, my blood-pressure has soared and my cholesterols are zesty. A team of expert medical witnesses have judged that this incident may have cost me as much as three days of my life and twenty minutes of productivity in my office! For this reason I am suing him for damages and costs.

Comments

Zephyr:

05-07-2007 10:33:17 UTC

lawsuit against noob
is there no better action?
than this dishonour.

Zephyr:

05-07-2007 10:40:42 UTC

1) It was not a valid lawsuit.
2) From what I know you already have high blood pressure and cholestrol.
3) Its bad to play games in the office.
4) Which medical witnesses?

Kevan: he/him

05-07-2007 11:41:00 UTC

I’d agree that etching portentous lawsuit sigils onto standard business mail can make a stressful experience for the recipient, but I’m willing to put it down to sloppy management at Ink Inc, and trust that they’ve already flash-fired the relevant underlings.

Brendan: he/him

05-07-2007 12:38:34 UTC

I want $5M for my vote either way.

Josh: Observer he/they

05-07-2007 14:21:19 UTC

You’ve got it, Brendan.

Brendan: he/him

05-07-2007 14:23:32 UTC

for So nice doing business aboveboard like this.

Josh: Observer he/they

05-07-2007 14:28:12 UTC

I think so.

If anybody else wants to do some business, please feel free to let me know.

Zephyr:

05-07-2007 15:02:32 UTC

O.o

Chivalrybean:

05-07-2007 20:27:52 UTC

against Bah.

Funny stuff though.

Clucky: he/him

05-07-2007 21:59:26 UTC

Picking on the new kid isn’t much fun Josh.

But Brendan is right, $5M would probably be enough to make me forget Zephyr is new.

Bucky:

05-07-2007 22:15:08 UTC

The above two votes do not count because we’re still in the discussion period.

Rodney:

05-07-2007 23:32:28 UTC

The above lawsuit does not count because it doesn’t list a multiplier.

Bucky:

05-07-2007 23:34:49 UTC

It’s valid.

Ruleset:“The first line of the post must end with the text “Multiplier: $xM.””

Lawsuit:“I am hereby serving notice of my intention to sue Zephyr of Ink Inc. for Multiplier: $10M”

Josh: Observer he/they

06-07-2007 09:29:25 UTC

Clucky, let’s drink to $5M of selective amnesia. Prost!

Zephyr:

06-07-2007 10:48:01 UTC

If anybody wants to do some business, please feel free to let me know. Im offering 6m.

Clucky: he/him

06-07-2007 11:23:46 UTC

Woohoo! Yay! Josh now has my support as well.

Josh: Observer he/they

06-07-2007 13:20:53 UTC

In light of my opponent’s SHOCKING and SCANDALOUS attempt to corrupt the jury, I’d like to make it clear that anybody who votes my way will have their cases looked upon favorably should they find themselves in a lawsuit situation.

I provide not only cash, but also peace of mind.

Chivalrybean:

06-07-2007 14:42:12 UTC

I’ll take souls… those will sway my vote to who ever gives me the most.

Zephyr:

06-07-2007 14:53:14 UTC

In light of my Josh’s SHOCKING and SCANDALOUS attempt to corrupt the jury, I’d like to make it clear that anybody who votes my way will have their cases looked upon favorably should they find themselves in a lawsuit situation.

I provide not only cash, but also peace of mind.

Brendan: he/him

06-07-2007 14:57:00 UTC

In light of “your” Josh?  But Icarus & Son just became a part of the Xorph Conglomerates family…

Hope you appreciate my position, Josh.  One does want to see a return on one’s investment.  Welcome to the fold!

Hix:

06-07-2007 20:17:47 UTC

against For shame, picking on a noob for no reason!

Zephyr, a payment of $9M will ensure that I do not change my vote (this is quite generous, considering that changing my vote will cost you $20M).

Josh, I notice that you have more offices and factories combined than you have souls, thus causing you to have zero production.  Should you place the excess 1 office and 1 factory in escrow for me before Zephyr pays the $9M, I’ll gladly change my vote.

Zephyr:

07-07-2007 05:16:14 UTC

Paid hix. :)

Clucky: he/him

07-07-2007 05:59:12 UTC

It is time for me to vote for yet?

Brendan: he/him

07-07-2007 17:38:13 UTC

48 hours are up—total votes are 2 to 2, so exactly $0M changes hands.

For what it’s worth, Josh and Zephyr, do you realize you could have voted too?

Zephyr:

08-07-2007 03:26:22 UTC

yay i spent 9m only lol.