Thursday, February 24, 2022

Ascension Address: Meanwhile, At The End Of Time

As he had done every morning for the past one hundred dynasties, the Time Buddha sat on the stoop of the End of Time Vihara and cradled a hot cut of yerba mate. It gave him calm, looking out into an infinite void in which nothing, by definition, could ever happen. All that happened out there was the long, plodding march towards thermal equilibrium, and it was his job to watch it, so he did, with a mug of yerba mate and a song in his heart.

Today, however, something unexpectedly happened, right next to where he was sitting.

“Hello”, said the thing that had happened.

“Hello,” said the Time Buddha. “You look exactly like me.”

“That makes sense,” said the thing that had happened, which was indeed a person. “You’re the Time Buddha, correct?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about that,” said the Time Buddha, with the pent-up energy of a person who had been stewing on something since 2012. “Is it really okay for me to be? I don’t know. The conversations around this stuff, man. It all seems really vexed, and it’s got a lot of heat to it, but, I mean, it’s true, we are really just using the symbols as exoticist set-dressing for…”

“My time here really is limited,” said the other person.

“It’s just, it may or may not be problematic, I don’t know, who am I to say, but either way it just feels like it’s in poor taste.”

“I’m with you. In which case, let me introduce myself… You are the Time… shall we say Maestro? You are the Time Maestro and so I am the Space Maestro, overseeing probability and the multiverse and all that kind of thing.”

“Pleased to meet you, Space Maestro,” said the Time Maestro.

“Likewise,” said the Space Maestro.

“So what brings you here?”

“Oh, BlogNomic. Obviously. Every plane of existence and every dimension of possibility has some sort of issue with BlogNomic sooner or later. It’s a constant. But now the timeline of BlogNomic is so destabilised that it threatened the very fabric of reality itself, so I’m gathering Maestros into a kind of Maestro Team. Most of it has been really cool and cinematic, it’s a shame we’re not getting some of that stuff, the good action stuff, but you know how it goes, you’re a callback character and audiences love that.”

“So it’s a kind of Crisis on Infinite BlogNomics?”

“About a hundred BlogNomics, but yes.”

“Only a hundred? Okay, that seems doable,” said the Time Maestro, throwing back the last of his tea. “How do we fix it?”

Repeal all dynastic rules. In the rule Synonyms, change the player term to Maestro Team Member and the Emperor term to Space Maestro. Set Dynastic Distance to Active, set the Dynastic Tracking page to [[BN Wiki Main page]], set Mantle Limitations to Active, and set Alliances to Active.

Imperial styles wise, we’re going Provocateur, Laissez-faire, Powerhouse, Scam-Neutral but vaguely encouraging, Restrained on veto and mostly Instinctual.


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