There are two kinds of people in the world: Cool people, and you!

As you heard in the above insult, I accept your challenge!

Thanks for the compliment.  I just happen to be awesomer than you cool people.

You again.  Ozzy Mandrill, your plot to take Melee Island shall fail!

I’ll have to wash my blade today, because your landlubber blood is too dirty.

At least I look clean on the outside.

Look at your reflection in the water - you’re covered in filth from head to toe. Take a wash once in a while will you?

I believe that is actually your reflection, sir.

Hey, I recognize that shuriken.  Isn’t it from McDonalds?

For your information, it was crafted by Kaito Makdonald, the master shuriken craftsman of Shuriken Island.

You won’t be making fun of my shuriken when it’s flying at you at high speed!

Ugh, I cannot look at your face any longer, it’s so covered in warts it looks like the surface of the moon. You make Bort’s face look like pristine ivory.

Ah yes, Bort.  Best known for his face, which looked better than pristine ivory.  Thanks.

That sword of yours is the second-smallest sword I’ve ever seen!

If mine’s the second-smallest sword you’ve ever seen, then YOURS must be the smallest.

But you haven’t seen many swords, you seem inexperienced in the art of fai ting.

Your earring doesn’t really flatter you does it?

Oh, you mean the part of a random dead ninja’s ear I turned into an earring, right?  It really does not do well as an earring, but it is better than you at fighting.

Oh, and you were pointing at my dagger.  Not as good as my AWESOME DEATH BLADE, but still useful.

Wait, you’re a ninja? I thought you were a sumo wrestler.

What’s your awesome daeth blade? That bobby pin in your hair?

You thought I was a sumo wrestler? I forgive you, I thought you were that Fat Fortune Teller who lives on Atkins Island!

Those polka-dot trousers really don’t go with your greasy hair!

I know.  Very efficient.  Distracts the enemy.

Oh, and who needs a good insult when your enemy has balls!?!

*kicks Oze in the balls*

Ha.

I hear there are a couple of royal balls coming up.  I think you will need them.

AOOOOFFFF! *silence* That…didn’t…hurt…!

I know how to master pain. Earthly pain does not hurt me. TO master pain, you must look far into your mind, into the very depths of it.

Should take you only a few seconds…

A low blow!  I declare Oze the winner, as he demonstrated a little more wit, and didn’t need to resort to violence.  You may pillage your opponent now!