I’ll be gone for the weekend, but I’ve got a territory to take over, and since that can take a few minutes, and I don’t want to bother others into doing it for me without offering something in return:
Whoever is willing to act out my hostile takeover of Your Mother tomorrow shall receive a buy order for 10 units (or less, if you like) of a commodity of eir choice at 110% of the hegemonist’s BUY price at that time, rounded down. Alternatively, I’m willing to post a declaration of eir awesomeness if e would prefer it.

It’s first come, first served so respond if you’re willing to help me out.