Monday, January 16, 2006

Ascension Address: Ascension Address

Ahoy, matey! Avast, ye landlocked lubbers! Welcome to me ship, the Bloody Inquisitor! She’s a beauty, eh? I’m yer captain ‘n you’ll be always calling me by me title, Captain Elias, or I’ll make ye walk the plank.

Ye look a bunch o’ inexperienced lads and lassies, n’ I can see some o’ ye don’ even have yer sea legs yet. Arr, that’ll be smartly fixed once yer a member o’ the crew o’ the Bloody Inquisitor! Soon enough, we’ll be drinking all the grog ye desire when we find that booty, n’ if any of ye prove to be loyal and clever enough, I may even reward ye with yer own ship. But if any of ye’s try to mutiny, I’ll leave ye marooned on an uncharted island, you filthy bilge rat! Shiver me timbers!

Arrrr, now, enough’s been said! Swab the poop deck! Ready the mast and trim the sails! It’s the open ocean for us, crew! It’s time t’ go terrorising the seven seas! Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!

Replace all instances of “Protagonist”/”Protagonist” with “Swashbuckler”/”Swashbucklers”.

Replace all instances of “the Narrator” with “Captain Elias”.

Repeal all rules.


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