Issue: You are driving a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this situation?

1: As the speed we are traveling at is constant, we can assume it to be zero for our frame of reference. Climb out of the car and remove the blades from the chopper. Use the blades to slice the pig into strips and the firetruck into a fire and a truck. Use the fire to cook the strips into bacon. Climb in the truck with your plate of bacon and ride off into the sunset.

2: This is obviously that joke where I am drunk and on a merry-go-round. This isn’t a time for jokes, it is a time for politics.

3: I’d start by tossing ears of corn at the pig to see if it’ll move over to the side of the road. If that fails, then I would start a fire in the valley so the firetruck would have to stop so i could pull around. I have no clue how to use the chopper. Only as a last resort would I drive into the grass and wait. Then I’d wake up and wonder where that dream came up and swear off the late night porkrines.

4: If I cannot wake up, I would give signs to slow down, then do so. The helicopter crew would avoid a crash fearing for their own safety.