Friday, February 18, 2011

Ascension Address: Four Score And Seven Millenia Ago…

Friends,

The first spring of my leadership has now arrived. While we mourned the passing of our previous chief, who succumbed to the winter cold, and immortalized his reign on the cave wall, the warm sun slowly returned to us and now embraces us once again. This is a year of new beginnings, and I promise you that under my leadership, we will no longer be slaves to the whims of the forest gods and the weather spirits. We shall direct our efforts towards harnessing the power of the flame, so that it might warm and protect us. We shall make tools with which we can reshape the earth to bear delicious fruit. Under my guidance, you shall come to fear neither rival nor winter, and we shall truly rule this land we call home.

Why are you all looking at me with such quizzical expressions? (sigh) Oh alright, here we go:

chief dead. spring here. we must make fire and collect more food this year or we die next winter. also neighbour tribe look at us funny. also dynastic rules go away now. word ‘ant’ becomes ‘caveman’ and ‘sandbox master’ becomes ‘chief’.

My apologies to any female players, but ‘caveperson’ just sounds wrong. Besides, almost all of us were female during the previous dynasty, so it’s our turn now.

Comments

Purplebeard:

02-18-2011 10:00:41 UTC

Could one of our skilled cave painters perhaps change the header and colour scheme to something more prehistoricky? I have absolutely no talent for that stuff.

Ely:

02-18-2011 10:12:20 UTC

I no ant longer? Who I? What I?
I wants food.

Purplebeard:

02-18-2011 10:48:00 UTC

Upon reflection, I should specify that I don’t intend to make collecting food for the winter a major goal, since we did that in the previous dynasty.

What I envision is that we gradually discover and invent new tools (fire, the wheel etc.) to dramatically improve our efficiency at certain tasks, which will also leaving latecomers at less of a disadvantage.

Kevan: HE/HIM

02-18-2011 14:35:29 UTC

Cave painting painted.

Purplebeard:

02-18-2011 15:10:29 UTC

Wow, that is more than excellent, but I’m afraid it’s only my third dynasty (although ‘many-th’ might also work with this theme).

Kevan: HE/HIM

02-18-2011 15:16:12 UTC

Stupid numbers. Fixed.

Josh: HE/HIM

02-18-2011 16:20:31 UTC

Black writing on a brown background is kinda hard to read…

Rodlen:

02-18-2011 16:55:14 UTC

GNDT appearance improved slightly for theme.

Rodlen:

02-18-2011 16:58:09 UTC

Block quotes are more readable now.

Subrincinator:

02-18-2011 20:15:38 UTC

Me like!  Me like much much!