Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Story Post: Case 36: State of Connecticut v. James

The courtroom is filled to the brim with prosecutors in this Burglary case. James Chamberlain is charged with illegal entry into the offices of Smith Group, a local real estate company, with the intent to snoop on details of their properties.



15-01-2019 05:05:50 UTC

Your honor, look at James’ face. That beautiful, beautiful face. Is that the face of someone with questionable morals? Perhaps. He is immorally handsome. Is it the face of someone who would commit burglary? Frankly, it’s hard to tell with the ski mask. But is this the face of someone who deserves a guilty verdict? To that, I say no, and to any who claim otherwise, I say “How dare you!”


15-01-2019 05:32:09 UTC

My client has reminded me that I also had some evidence prepared. He’s a sharp one. Anyway, here’s some traffic cam photo of James stuck in gridlock for the entire time he was allegedly at Smith Group.


15-01-2019 06:36:57 UTC

That traffic cam picture must surely be forged. It is conveniently right next to the house of a defendant’s friend. I wish to bring forward the pictures at similar times of EVERY OTHER traffic cam. I think they speak for themselves.


17-01-2019 01:54:19 UTC

For anyone else this court assumes you’re guilty until proven innocent, but for James? Look at that face. You’re right. For him, innocent until proven guilty, all the way, and I don’t see any proof around.

This case is closed; James is the winner, and the fine is $0.