Sunday, April 26, 2015

Story Post: Review of the Restaurant

This Review is brought to you by Dominique Labaguette. He was pleased to announce that Antonio Fusilli will be coming to the restaurant again. While doing so, he revealed that Fusili does eat meat, every now and then, and definitly is NO vegetarian.

He the proceeded tasting the various meals and dishes brought before him, starting with Brendan’s “Woodland Horror”. While giving it a “+ - - - -”, he was so scarred of the red glowing eyes staring back at him (and the smell! THE SMELL!) that he refused to comment on the ingredients and did not let anyone taste it, exclaiming it was “a danger to humanity.”
Next up was Kevan’s “Bee Thermidor aux Bicyclettes”. Although doubting how well Bees and Bicycles would go with one another, he was excited to give it a rating of “* * + + -”. Everyone was allowed to taste it this time, and everyone agree that it tasted (Sweetness 10 Sourness 10 Umami 10 Spicyness 10) and that it was definitly not vegetarian.
The final dish brought before Dominique was “The Fork Ran Away with the Shoes” by exploto. It’s rating was so-and-so, at the end being “* + - - -”. When everone was allowed to take a mouth full, they found it tasted (Sweetness 10 Sourness 0 Umami 10 Spicyness 3) with some meat in it.

Kevan received the award for this Review, being declared “Winner of the Day” for his Recipe.


Brendan: he/him

26-04-2015 16:58:38 UTC

Exploto’s recipe had its Valued Properties affected by only two ingredients: two units of Blushing Fork and one chopped Girl On Bicycle. I do not believe there is any combination of mappings for those ingredients that would yield 10 Sweetness and 0 Sourness.

The highest-Sweetness ingredient with 0 Sourness is the Potato. Even if Blushing Fork and Girl On Bicycle both mapped to Potato, that would still only be 9 Sweetness. exploto did not use any Equipment or Sprinkle to reduce Sourness in the recipe.

I would like to request that the Restaurant Manager check exploto’s tasting again and inform me if I am wrong.


27-04-2015 08:15:07 UTC

Brendan: You are correct. This is more difficult then I thought, sorry.

Explotos recipe has Valued Propertys: Sweetness 10, Sourness 1, Umami 8 and Spicyness 3. The rating does not change.

Kevan: he/him

27-04-2015 17:05:14 UTC

“Pasta al pattino freddo”

Coy Sun x1
Shiny Shoes x1
Girl on Bicycle x1
Boy With Hedgehog x1

Chop a fresh Coy Sun.
Add a thin layer of Shiny Shoes.
Add a generous amount of Girl on Bicycle.
Use Scissors to trim edges.
Garnish with Boy With Hedgehog.

Brendan: he/him

28-04-2015 17:05:38 UTC

Forgive me, but I’m still having trouble understanding how that set of Valued Properties is possible with one doubled ingredient and one Chopped single ingredient.

“Explotos recipe has Valued Propertys: Sweetness 10, Sourness 1, Umami 8 and Spicyness 3.”

Hypothesis: Blushing Fork x2 contributes 0 Sourness.
This means that the Chopped Girl On Bicycle must contribute exactly 1 Sourness.
This in turn means that GOB must be either Eggplant or Sugar.

However, the total value for Spiciness is 3. Both Eggplant and Sugar have 0 Spiciness, and so the Chopping in the second step (which matters only “if this Step would add any Spiciness to the Recipe”) has no effect.

That means that each of the 2 Blushing Fork must contribute 1.5 Spiciness, which does not map to any ingredient.

If that is not true, then the original hypothesis is wrong… which means each of the 2 Blushing Fork contributes 0.5 Sourness, which is also impossible.

I may well be mistaken in this logic—if anyone spots my error, please let me know. I can only imagine that the calculations for everyone’s recipes are tricky to keep straight, mideg, and I am certain you have put a lot of work into this. Thanks for letting me double-check this.

Brendan: he/him

28-04-2015 17:57:49 UTC

“Cry for Help”

Boy With Hedgehog x1
Coy Sun x1
Girl On Bicycle x1

1) Add 1 Boy With Hedgehog.
2) Whang at it for a while with the Cutting Board.
3) Sprinkle 1 Coy Sun upon the flattened mess.
4) Add 1 Girl On Bicycle and scrape the whole thing into a garbage can.


29-04-2015 20:34:21 UTC

Brendan, you are right, there was another mistake. :-(

The valued properties are Sweetness 10, Sourness 2, Umami 8 and Spicyness 3.


I will wait with another Review for another day to let you all deal with that info.

Brendan: he/him

29-04-2015 21:49:25 UTC

... I don’t think those properties are possible either.

As established above, we know that the 2 Blushing Fork cannot each contribute 1.5 Spiciness. At least some Spiciness must come from the Girl On Bicycle.

Hypothesis: Blushing Fork is an ingredient with 1 Spiciness. Adding 2xBF gives us 2 Spiciness. 3 - 2 = 1 Spiciness from Girl on Bicycle. But since the GOB was Chopped, it must contribute either 0 Spiciness or 2+ Spiciness. It cannot contribute 1. Hypothesis disproven.

Therefore, Blushing Fork MUST be an ingredient 0 Spiciness. That means all 3 Spiciness came from the Girl On Bicycle. This in turn means that it must be Minced Meat, which would have a total of 3 Spiciness (2 inherent + 1 Chopped).


1 GOB/Minced Meat gives us 5 Umami. No steps in exploto’s recipe lessened the Umami, and it ended up with a total of 8. That means that 2x Blushing Fork gives us a total of 8 - 5 = 3 Umami… which would mean each Blushing Fork contributes 1.5. Which is, again, impossible.


29-04-2015 22:03:44 UTC

You are right, again. Want my job?

I don’t know, maybe just quit this dynasty. We have only 4 cooks left and I cannot seem to get my job done. :-/

The correct - at least I hope so - valued properties are Sweetness 10, Sourness 2, Umami 10 and Spicyness 3.

Brendan: he/him

29-04-2015 22:27:14 UTC

I’ve been enjoying this dynasty! It does rely very heavily on your time and effort, though. I would have miscalculated pretty often if I were in your place.

Kevan: he/him

29-04-2015 22:36:07 UTC

There is always a lot of pressure on Emperors to be infallible, in secret information dynasties, and it’s not always fun. Is there a particular aspect of Recipes that’s awkward to calculate, and could we change how we write them to improve things? (Having some verbs apply modifiers while others have absolutely no effect seems unnecessarily opaque, in retrospect.)

Worst case, I’d always rather see a dynasty sped up than abandoned. Maybe we should throw out a proposal to identify a random handful of Packages.

Brendan: he/him

29-04-2015 22:39:34 UTC

I’d be up for that. I also like the Tasting Post mechanism for package identification. The thing that seems to be taking a while is identifying how to satisfy the Reviewers—I might make a proposal to pull back the curtain on them a bit.

Darknight: he/him

30-04-2015 02:08:59 UTC

“A Friendly Sting”

Exploding Chair x1
The Bee x2
Shouting Man x1

Add one Exploding Chair
Sprinkle one layer of Bee
Add the bottom of one Shouting man
Garnish the top with another Bee


30-04-2015 12:27:46 UTC

I’m ok, really. THose mistakes in a row aren’t fun, but I will stick to it as long as you are having fun, and I do have a blast writing the reviews. I will look into how I do it and suggest some streamlining of the Recipes in the near future. :-)


03-05-2015 15:12:07 UTC

Darknight is absent gulping down lots of water after taking a mouth full of Chili Pepper.