BlogNomic: The First Dynasty of Desertfrog

Elias IX was frolicking on the monastery grounds, off to pick some delicious (and perhaps not-so-delicious) herbs near the infirmary. First e arrived at one herb, examined it, and said, “With my Botany skill, I see that this is garlic, so let it be so.”

And it was so.

E then romped over to the nearest herb, because e loves the plants and animals of the world; they are so cute! E then knelt at the next herb, caressed it gently, with the love a mother shows to her youngest child, but not to her oldest bastard son whom she hates, isn’t that sad? E then cupped the herb in eir hands, examined it, and said, “With my Botany skill, I see that this is garlic, so let it be so.”

And it was so.

But e got slightly ticked off, since e already had some garlic, and both eir hands, but especially eir breath, smelled terrible, so e was slightly antagonized, since though e loves the flora and fauna of the monastery the most, e also treasures the value of having a good-smelling breath. E was very saddened, so e laid down for a rest in the grass, because that feels really good. The sun was shining on em, allowing vitamin D to be made in eir body, but all e felt was a nice warmth from the sunny, happy sky.

E felt a fly buzzing around eir left ear. It annoyed em, not as much as eir younger brother did when e was still living at home, but it was still very annoying. Suddenly he heard a tongue whip out and catch the fly. E turned eir head to the left, and saw a frog! What a joy that was! Elias IX was elated to see a frog, since eir love of animals is only surpassed by eir love of plants!

With eir excellent Monk reflexes, e grabbed the frog before the frog knew it was grabbed, which indeed takes excellent Monk reflexes. E examined it, and said, “Because I am not stupid, I see that this is a frog, so let it be so.”

And it was so.

E then said, “I shall make this frog my pet, to take wherever I go, and it shall be named Jesus, after a very cool guy.”

“Ribbit,” croaked the frog.

Give Elias IX a Frog.

Remove 1 from Elias IX’s moves.